This Day in Death

8.17.15: Yvonne Craig, TV’s Batgirl – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 6:25 pm August 23, 2015

YVONNE_CRAIGThere, American Dental Association: I just did in 15 seconds what you guys have spent 150 years trying to do. Pfft, dentists! Truly the podiatrists of the medical world.

Actress and reason I hit puberty 14 years before I was conceived Yvonne Craig has died of breast cancer at the age of 78. Best known as Batgirl in the ’60s Batman tv show, Craig was added to the series in the third and final season to boost ratings and de-sausage the crimefighting sausage fest that was going on in the Batcave. Hey, you know who I feel bad for? People trying to put together a literal sausage fest. It must be impossible to get funding for that anymore. I mean I like a good sausage as much as anybody, but I’d definitely never go to one. No way, I hear those places are total sausage fests, bro.

Craig also had a memorable guest spot on Star Trek as the green-skinned alien Marta. Typical Hollywood: Would rather cover a white woman in paint than just hire a green actor to begin with. And don’t even get me started on how disenfranchised translucent Americans are in show business. It’s like they’re invisible or something.

Her numerous TV credits besides “Batman” included “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis,” “The Six Million Dollar Man,” “Kojak,” “Starsky and Hutch,” “Mod Squad,” “77 Sunset Strip,” “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” “Love, American Style” and “Emergency!”


“She had been able to do this with joy and much laughter and she wouldn’t have changed a thing,” Ms. Craig’s family said. “Well, maybe one thing, and that would have been not to get cancer.”

Was that a burn on the recently deceased? Is there supposed to be a rimshot there or something? I’m not really offended morally, just professionally. Look, grieving family: I went to school for years to understand how to use autocorrect. Don’t try to horn in on my niche unless you’re looking for some serious trubble.


Source: The NY Times

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7.31.13: Star Trek’s Commander Kang Michael Ansara – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 10:51 am August 7, 2013

MICHAEL_ANSARAAnsara was Syrian, so I guess Roddenberry felt he was just some smeared eyeshadow away from becoming a terrifying space alien. More like Racistberry, yah?!


Michael Ansara, who portrayed Klingon Commander Kang in three iterations of Star Trek, is dead at the age of 91. If only there were 500-plus words about Klingon death rituals that I could link to right nGUESS WHAT THERE TOTALLY IS THAT THING I JUST SAID:

When a Klingon warrior was dying, his or her comrades would hold the eyes open while looking into his or her eyes. Once the Klingon in question had died, the other Klingons would raise their heads and howl for several seconds. This howl was a warning to the dead, that a Klingon warrior was arriving. Afterwards, the body was considered to be only an empty shell, and was unceremoniously disposed of following the ritual. [Source]

Granted, it’s a pretty cool ritual in hindsight, but I’m fairly confident that the first Klingon to do that was just being lazy. Here on Earth that’s basically the “OD’d hooker at a toga party” method of body disposal. An honored tradition in its own right, but not especially labor intensive. At any rate, Ansara’s in a better place now. I mean, not like Six Flags Great Adventure better, but definitely at least two or three rungs above, say, St. Louis. Most leading theologians will advise you that expecting any more from the afterlife is just setting yourself up for disappointment.


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3.13.13: Star Trek Actor Malachi Throne – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 5:05 pm March 20, 2013

IM000294.JPGYeah, well… you’re an honorary Starfleet captain and I took the bronze at the 2008 Mr. Hot Bunz competition in Sarasota, FL. So we both contribute to society in our own way.


Star Trek fans the world over (the preferred nomenclature is ‘dweebuses’) are mourning the death of Malachi Throne, who died last week at the age of 84. Throne portrayed Commodore Jose I. Mendez in “The Menagerie” and also provided the voice of The Keeper, which, if I had to guess, was an “alien” who basically looked like a completely normal human being but had kinda weird skin on his forehead or something. Because Gene Roddenberry was allergic to imagination and figured eczema was probably of extraterrestrial origin. Seriously, it’s science fiction! You can do anything! Where are the guys with four heads or monsters with freaky dinosaur wangs that shoot lasers that turn your skin inside out? I don’t care what you guys say, these are good ideas.

Beyond Star Trek, Throne was a dependable, go-to actor in Hollywood for decades, and often played roles that buried him beneath layers of makeup. Among his credits were Lost In Space, The Outer Limits (in an episode with William Shatner), The Time Tunnel, Mission: Impossible (with Leonard Nimoy), Batman, The Defenders, It Takes a Thief (on which he was a regular opposite Robert Wagner), Kojak, Law & Order, Melrose Place, Babylon 5, Catch Me If You Can and The West Wing, as well an such animated programs as Beyond Batman, Avatar: The Last Airbender and Green Lantern: First Flight.

Fans of the show have famously been in a decades-long debate with Star Wars fans over which is less stupid. The current winner is who cares with Battlestar Galactica coming in a close second.

Throne also played the creepy-ass False Face in the 60s Batman tv series, but I didn’t wanna mention that because that really would’ve derailed my mockery here, as association with Batman makes 99.999% of all things astronomically cooler. That little remaining sliver is known as the Chris O’Donnell Factor. Poor guy. Between that and those dead, soulless, zombie eyes that guy just can’t catch a break.


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4.29.12: Sci-Fi Composer Joel Goldsmith – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 9:30 am May 3, 2012

Goldsmith challenged the stereotype that all sci-fi fans are cut-up gym rats who practically drive their Jaguar XJs straight into your sister’s vagina.


As we’ve covered before, cancer is kinda a dick. It’s also the second-to-worst zodiac sign, right behind Sagittarius. Seriously, a “centaur”? You’re just a regular freaky manhorse. That shit happens all the time and it creeps everyone else out. You’re even worse than that pussy Pisces and his stupid poems about the water. By reading the preceding lines, you now legally have an astrology degree. Congratulations!

Stargate and Star Trek composer Joel Goldsmith died on April 29 from cancer. Goldsmith was 54. A three-time Emmy nominee, Goldsmith composed music for over 330 episodes of the long running Stargate sci-fi franchise, created by Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin. Goldsmith’s music appears in Stargate SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis and Stargate Universe, as well as two direct-to-DVD 2009 films, Stargate: The Ark of Truth and Continuum.

Goldsmith also composed the music for Call of Duty 3, which I’m sure is a game that looks absolutely nothing like every other FPS on the market and is definitely a better use of your time than reading a book. Because if Gone with the Wind is such a great wartime novel, how come nobody gets mowed down with a FlaK 88 while the guitarist from Nickelback lets out a sweet solo on top of the Statue of Liberty? Did Margaret Mitchell do *any* research at all?


Source: Deadline Hollywood

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