This Day in Death

11.24.12: Hector “Macho” Camacho – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 9:42 am November 28, 2012

Camacho, seen here arriving at his mother’s funeral… in style!

 

Well, I guess you can add “sitting in a car” to the list of shit that will get you killed in Puerto Rico, because that’s what took out famed boxer Hector “Macho” Camacho last week. Other recent entries include not holding an elevator door, failure to lock after popping, “talking some stuff,” wearing red, NOT wearing red, looking in the principal direction of a cholo located with 500 meters, and crying at the end of The Notebook. That’s… that’s a rough list.

Hector Camacho, a boxer known for his lightning-quick hands and flamboyant personality who emerged from a delinquent childhood in New York’s Spanish Harlem to become a world champion in three weight classes, died Saturday in San Juan, P.R., four days after after being shot while sitting in a parked car. He was 50.

His death was reported by Dr. Ernesto Torres, the director of the Centro Médico trauma center in Puerto Rico, who said Camacho had a heart attack and died a short time later after being taken off life support. He was declared brain dead on Thursday.

Oh! His last name rhymes with “macho!” Ha, I get that now. That’s pretty good.

As a teenager Camacho was a brawler, a serial shoplifter, an admitted drug user and a car thief, and he never put that part of his nature behind him. He was arrested numerous times on charges including domestic abuse, possession of a controlled substance, burglary and trying to take an M-16 rifle through customs. This year he turned himself in after a warrant charged him with beating one of his sons. A trial was pending at his death.

Eek. It’s like he was trying to undo all of the positive moral associations with the spitcurl that Superman worked so hard to establish. It’s a potent sociological trick, and the same reason that I wear a Hitler mustache while volunteering at the soup kitchen. Change is all about baby steps, you know.

 

Source: The New York Times

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3.9.12: Angry Detroiter Buying Condoms – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 6:27 am March 12, 2012

Either this or a one-eyed teddy bear covered in meth dust can be found in front of literally every home in Detroit. It’s actually a pretty impressive commitment.

 

I’m from Detroit. I mean, like, Detroit Detroit. I grew up in a neighborhood where random winos would pass out on our lawn and arson was a spectator sport. So believe me and my emotionally crippled psyche when I tell you that the most surprising thing about this story is the complete lack of gang rape. Hell, this is downright civilized by Michigan standards. The D is coming back, baby!

WWJ’s Beth Fisher spoke to an employee at the BP gas station on Fenkell and Meyers, where the shooting took place on the city’s westside overnight. The employee said the argument was apparently over the price of a box of condoms.

He said the customer bought a box of condoms, but made a comment that he was overcharged and could have bought them somewhere else for a cheaper price. After being told he couldn’t get a refund, the customer allegedly began tossing items off the shelves. That’s when, according to the employee, the overnight clerk came out with a gun and fired a warning shot, which struck the customer in the shoulder.

Police say the customer was taken to a local hospital where he later died from his injuries.

Detroit: Where even the warning shots are aimed directly at your body. There’s just something in the atmosphere that turns everything all murdery. A fireworks display is like genocidal hellfire raining down from the sky there.

Ron Scott, with the Detroit Coalition Against Police Brutality, said they are working on conflict resolution between gas station owners and Detroiters, something they will be discussing at a meeting on Sunday.

“We can’t have this kind of attitude and this kind of disrespect for life. Whether it happens to people who work in the gas station or definitely if it happens to people in the community. From what I’m understanding, the price of a condom should not be somebody’s life,” said Scott.

Scott added, “Zing!” and then made a sound like a car going by while he waved his hand over his head. It was kind of a dick move, but really, that joke deserved a way stronger response.

It’s important not to throw the baby out with the bathwater on this story, though. There’s something important to discuss in all this, and that’s the fact that condoms are ridiculously overpriced. It’s the reason I’ve decided not to have sex with all of the beautiful women who are desperate to get a taste of this blogger sugar. Lady, until I start getting paid for this shit or you get a diaphragm we’re just gonna sit here and watch this F-Troop marathon.

 

Source: CBS Detroit

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