This Day in Death

7.11.15: Nintendo Chief Executive Satoru Iwata – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 1:11 pm July 17, 2015

SATORU_IWATAIwata with Luigi, probably snickering about how Birdo turned out to be transgendered. That kind of gossip isn’t cool anymore, you guys. No H8!


Satoru Iwata, Chief Executive for Nintendo, has passed away due to a bile duct growth. Doctors described it as being “totally gross,” and claimed the growth made them “barf like a million times.” Kind of an inappropriate response coming from medical professionals but it’s not like we weren’t all wondering anyway.

Known for pushing back against complicated and expensive video games, Mr. Iwata quipped at a 2006 conference that had Tetris been introduced then, it would have required better graphics and a film deal to be feasible. In the same speech, Mr. Iwata gave a sort of coda on his views on gaming: “Video games are meant to be just one thing. Fun. Fun for everyone.”

If you’re under the age of 30, then first of all I highly suggest you begin a regimen of bottling your sparkling, youthful blood and other bodily fluids for future preservation. They are full of sacred minerals that may hold the secret to longevity and eternal sexual potency. But also, you may not be aware that Nintendo, perennial bronze-taker in the video game wars, used to be a juggernaut of the industry. It’s true! Back in the 90s, there were two major systems duking it out for your Josta-soaked dollar, and whichever side you fell on told the entire neighborhood what kind of kid you were. Your parents either got you a Nintendo Entertainment System, or they got you a shoebox with a picture of Sonic the Hedgehog drawn on the inside. Oh yes, I admit I spent many a solitary Friday night staring at that idiot box, dreaming of me and my best/only buddy Sonic getting to that next exciting level… Or any level, I guess. Really, witnessing any kind of movement at all would’ve been amazing. In retrospect it seems like a pretty crude system, but that’s just the way technology makes things look obsolete with time.

Source: NY Times

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