This Day in Death

3.17.12: Ruby Garrett, Owner of Butte, Montana’s Last Brothel – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 4:22 am March 29, 2012

Somebody crack a window and let some of that sexy out.


If I knew anything about women my eHarmony profile would probably have significantly fewer references to Truck Nutz, so it should come as no surprise that just about the only thing I have in common with brothel owner Ruby Garrett is a belief that prostitution should be legalized. Well, that, and the fact that we both look irresistible in frilly collars. But now she’s dead, and I fear that young people won’t find sex appealing anymore without the moral guidance of a nonagenarian from Montana. The AP reports:

Ruby Garrett ran the last brothel standing in this mining town’s once-lively red-light district with a reputation for kindness toward her girls, but the grandmotherly figure was also a husband-shooting, tax-evading madam who once said that prostitution should be considered a commodity.

Hang on, let’s skim ahead a little…

People who knew Garrett in her later years remembered a kind person who looked out for the women who worked at the Dumas. Ellen Crain, director of the Butte-Silver Bow Archives, said Garrett was a savvy businesswoman who felt strongly about treating the women well and took pride in keeping the brothel clean and orderly.

Little more…

Les Baldwin, one of those who turned out to bid her farewell, told an Associated Press reporter at the party: “I think it’s a crime that a fine woman like this is sent to prison. I’ve done more things wrong than this woman.”

Uh… little more, I guess…

Garrett pleaded guilty in 1982 to failing to failing to pay $51,670 in federal taxes from 1975 to 1978. She received a six-month sentence and was fined $10,000, which she said she paid with a loan from a friend.

How long is this goddamn obituary, AP? Did you seriously just lay out 650+ words on the owner of a whorehouse? I could die falling out of a plane while battling Hilter’s reanimated corpse and I can guarantee you my own mother wouldn’t have half as much to say at my funeral. Is Henry Darger working with the AP or something? Get an editor.

(And let’s take a moment to appreciate how intelligent that last reference was. Thank you.)

Source: Associated Press

Tags: , ,