This Day in Death

12.19.12: Rejected Supreme Court Nominee Robert Bork – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 3:58 pm December 26, 2012

ROBERT_BORK164527306Robert Bork was, of course, named by the Swedish Chef. And that’s what happens when I hold onto a joke I found funny 20 years ago.

Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork is dead today, and I’d like to say that I’m late reporting it because I’ve been busy feeding the hungry this holiday season but the truth is a lot less altruistic and a lot more Airwolf marathony. *cough*… Moving on.

Bork has become notable for being the rare example of a Presidential Supreme Court nomination being rejected when, in 1987, the Senate voiced concerns that his conservative personal views would overtly color his judicial decisions. It’s pretty similar to that time I was totally next in line to be promoted to shift manager at Panera Bread, but then that bitch Jenny had to go and tell Mr. Spinoza that I was pocketing quarters from the til. She just wants to destroy me because she’s jealous, that’s all!

It is rare for the Senate in its constitutional “advice and consent” role to turn down a president’s Supreme Court nominee, and rarer still for that rejection to be based not on qualifications but on judicial philosophy and temperament. That turned Judge Bork’s defeat into a watershed event and his name into a verb: getting “borked” is what happens to a nominee rejected for what supporters consider political motives.

The success of the anti-Bork campaign is widely seen to have shifted the tone and emphasis of Supreme Court nominations since then, giving them an often strong political cast and making it hard, many argue, for a nominee with firmly held views ever to be confirmed.

Call me a filthy centrist (“filthy centrist” being one of the more challenging sexual positions I suggest you futilely try before giving up on your obviously loveless marriage, by the way), but that kind of political divisiveness can’t be good for a country. It’s time we get back to the core principles this country was founded on: Wearing hats with buckles on them and alienating black people. Or just do whatever the hell you want. What do I care, it’s not like I can even vote. I’ve been living under an assumed name for the past eight years. James O. may owe 30 grand to various bookies and brothel owners, but Juan Alvarado Sanchez is little more than a dirty pair of Wranglers and a bitchin’ fake mustache.

Source: The New York Times

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