This Day in Death

Death Hoax II: Morgan Freeman – HANGING ON!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 2:07 pm September 10, 2012

Freeman, seen here winning the award for Most Morgan Freeman. I guess he just wanted it more than you, Morgan J. Freeman.


Oh Christ, again? Are you really gonna make me start the week out like this? Have you people really lowered the bar to the point that “notable person continues to live” is what I have to lead off with? Oh, no, don’t worry about it, that’s huge for traffic. Why, who can forget the time I ran that story about how Ellen Cleghorne enjoyed a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast and proceeded to not get food poisoning even a little tiny bit? It’s really what put this blog on the map. Fuck. FUCK!

Anyway, Morgan Freeman isn’t dead. I mean, I’m sure he’s kinda dead on the inside from Evan Almighty, but nobody involved could escape that vortex. Steve Carell actually lost his eternal soul to the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl as a result. But no, Freeman is physically still with us. Although it’s worth acknowledging that he won’t be around forever. I hope Google’s already finished recording and digitizing Freeman’s voice so that I can someday hear my search results read in his warm, buttery tones. It should really re-energize the stagnant process of finding and categorizing the best Russian tranny porn.

Supposedly there was also a 50 Cent death hoax, but nobody heard about that because it hasn’t been 2004 for eight goddamn years.

Source: Gossip Cop

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