This Day in Death

7.3.12: Andy Griffith – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 9:11 am July 4, 2012

“Holy shit this is boring. Does the internet still not exist yet?”

Andy Griffith, who portrayed two iconic television characters in Andy Taylor and Ben Matlock, died yesterday at the age of 86. If you don’t know why the man’s work was significant, it should be noted that the act of whistling was invented solely for The Andy Griffith Show. Sure, you hear it all the time now, but no one had ever thought to do that before.

And if you wanted to attend Griffith’s funeral you’ll have to be content with writing it into your bizarre fan fiction because he was buried less than five hours after dying:

…Griffith died Tuesday after an unspecified illness and “has been laid to rest on his beloved Roanoke Island,” the family said in a statement.

But the speed with which the public learned of his death and was informed of his burial seemed especially fast, according to some observers.

“It’s not very common,” said Larry F. Stegall, executive director of the state’s Funeral Directors Association. “I don’t recall having heard of it, and I’ve been here 32 years.”

Mmkay, that’s a little weird, I guess. It’s like his family was in a hurry to say their last goodbyes for some reason. Hang on, lemme check something…

Yup. Don Knotts died a few years ago, George Lindsey went in May, and now Andy Griffith is gone. That means the Aztec Prophecy of the Triad is complete and we should all get ready for a billion years of pestilence, massive tectonic shifts, and all bodies of water spontaneously turning into pig’s blood. I actually started this blog to try and give you guys a heads up about that, but then I saw two squirrels fighting outside my window and got pretty caught up in how that was gonna shake out. By the time I came back inside I’d kinda forgotten about all that, but now that I’ve explained myself I see no need to place blame on anyone.

Source: CNN

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