This Day in Death

7.31.15: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 4:24 pm August 5, 2015

ROWDY_RODDY_PIPERPiper, right, opting to leave his shirt on during extreme physical exercise. It’s a good look, and suddenly I don’t feel so alone for refusing to go topless in the pool at the YMCA. Hey, if we could all have hairless shoulders the world would be a very different place.

 

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper, WWE Hall of Famer and the last person named “Rod” not to go into gay porn, was found dead in his Hollywood home last week. Piper’s death is being reported as natural causes, which may sound unusual considering he was only 61, but in wrestling years that puts him in, like, his early 400s. Those guys have life expectancies that make medieval peasants look like Greek gods.

Technically cast as a villain among the pro wrestling personalities of the World Wrestling Federation (also known as the WWF and later the WWE), Piper’s charisma, over-the-top personality, and boundless energy made him a key pop culture figure. The WWE has named him as the greatest villain in wrestling history.

I’ve discussed my utter confusion about wrestling before, but one area that I’m completely into is the impossibly steep curve of insane stunts that the fans force the wrestling industry to climb as time goes by. Once your headline is that Seth Rollins just beat a man with an actual steel fucking ladder there’s no going back to the fundamentals. The industry could survive another 10,000 years and you’ll never see anyone talk about trying a back to basics approach that really emphasizes holds and good sportsmanship. You’ve crossed a one-way threshold. If you were to travel just five years into the future your brain probably couldn’t even acclimate to how much more psychotic the whole thing will have become in such a relatively brief time. By 2020 you’ll have guys with surgically-altered lizard faces cannonballing through brick walls and ripping out each others’ shoulder blades to use as oars with which to paddle themselves to safety, since it all takes place within a Plexiglass cage that is slowly filling up with hundreds of gallons of the performers’ own HGH-infused sweat. And that’ll be the undercard.

Just, you know… no blood. It really sends the wrong message about violence, and these are family-friendly events.

 

Source: Screenrant

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11.19.12: New Hampshire Senator Warren B. Rudman – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 7:17 pm November 21, 2012

Here’s a fun fact: Due to a clerical error, the Ottawa Senators hockey team is also required to function as Canada’s governing congressional body.

 

Former senator from New Hampshire Warren B. Rudman is dead today, and though it may be the wrong time to bring it up, I feel this may be my only chance for a while to mention that my favorite kamasutra position is “suspended congress.” And, yes, there’s plenty more sweet talk where that came from, single ladies of America. *wink*

Mr. Rudman was among the first members of Congress to speak out about the rising federal debt, which he believed was a threat to bankrupt the country. Alarmed by an annual deficit that had reached a record $200 billion in 1985 under Reagan — the annual figure now exceeds $1 trillion — Mr. Rudman joined Sens. Phil Gramm (R-Tex.) and Ernest F. Hollings (D-S.C.) as principal sponsors of the ­Gramm-Rudman-Hollings Balanced Budg­et Act of 1985.

The act, often shortened to Gramm-Rudman, called for a balanced federal budget within six years and was the first substantive effort by Congress in modern times to compel reductions in the federal deficit.

Sorry, I know I’m supposed to say something clever here, but fiscal responsibility is a sore subject for me ever since my business, the Phunky Phresh Kardboard Kompany, went under. We specialized in selling sheets of cardboard to inner city breakdancers at an outrageously fly markup. For one brief, glorious summer it really looked like the Crystal Pepsi would be flowing like water, but somehow something just went wrong. I’ve spent hours trying to explain to my investors what happened, but really I think it just came down to bad marketing. And the fact that it was 2009.



Source: The Washington Post

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10.14.12: Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 5:57 pm October 15, 2012

Specter, seen here responding to controversy ignited from his proposed “Bitches Ain’t Shit” constitutional amendment. Not a lot of support for that one, but you have to admire his passion: He truly BELIEVED that bitches weren’t shit.

 

Over the weekend former Pennsylvania senator Arlen Specter passed away from lymphoma, and if there’s a silver lining to that it has to be that it gives me a chance to hear your nuanced political opinions. If there’s one thing I love about doing this blog, it’s the chance to read your angry emails. Seriously, every time I can be blessed enough to gaze upon the latest barely coherent gibberish you people manage to string together using what I have to assume is a loosely-coordinated series of closed-fisted keyboard punches roughly timed to synchronize with the incessant braying of a Brit Hume or a Keith Olbermann or possibly just a dying ostrich on Animal Planet, I can’t help but have an immediate physiological reaction of almost orgasmic joy. And no, I’m not still seeing Dr. Silverberg about my “sarcasm problem,” Lt. Col. Needs to Know Every Detail of My Personal Life.

A political moderate, Specter was swept into the Senate in the Reagan landslide of 1980.

He took credit for helping to defeat President Clinton’s national health care plan — the complexities of which he highlighted in a gigantic chart that hung on his office wall for years afterward — and helped lead the investigation into Gulf War syndrome. Following the Iran-Contra scandal, he pushed legislation that created the inspectors general of the CIA.

As a senior member of the powerful Appropriations Committee, Specter pushed for increased funding for stem-cell research, breast cancer and Alzheimer’s disease, and supported several labor-backed initiatives in a GOP-led Congress. He also doggedly sought federal funds for local projects in his home state.

You know, I often like to imagine that people often like to ask me how I vote, and I hypothetically tell them that I usually vote for third parties.  For instance, in 2008 I cast my ballot for Libertarian Party candidate Bob Barr. The decision was partially attributable to my being a fiery independent who refuses to be swayed by political manipulation and partially because I had him confused with Babar the cartoon elephant. Both spoke to my personal beliefs, so no harm, no foul.

Source: The LA Times

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