This Day in Death

8.16.13: Controversial French Lawyer Jacques Vergès – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 11:12 pm August 24, 2013

PORTRAITS D'AVOCATSSo we’re sticking with the Sith Lord look for our legal professionals for the foreseeable future, huh? Fine, but I guarantee that once the Right Honorable Triple H passes the bar you better believe those sleeves are coming right the hell off.


Jacques Vergès died last week and don’t even pretend like you knew who he was. Because you didn’t. Shit, neither did I. In fact, I already had to rewrite this post from scratch because I wasted 300 words under the assumption that he was Jacques Cousteau. Threw away a lot of good jokes about azimuth compasses, you guys really missed out.

No, this Jacques was a controversial lawyer who made a career out of defending Nazi war criminals and other unsavory types. And not like in the way that your girlfriend defends all those Jennifer Aniston movies and embarrasses you in front of your friends. We’re talking high-stakes “in a court of law” defending. Vergès once even claimed he would’ve defended Hitler himself. Got any last words, you soulless bastard?

“When you treat the accused as a monster, you give up trying to understand what happened. And if you don’t try to understand what happened, you deprive yourself of any reflection on how to stop that thing happening elsewhere. If the Americans had reflected on the moral defeat that torture represented for the French army in Algeria, what has gone on at Abu Ghraib would certainly never have happened.”

Ha! I— Hmm… Well shit. This just got really morally complex, like laughing at a clown funeral. I hate when that happens. Today’s modern villains, they can never be bothered to twirl the occasional mustache to let us know which side of the fence they fall on. Listen, this isn’t a damn Peckinpah movie, someone just tell me who I’m supposed to root for already. I’m a busy man and these Bagel Bites aren’t gonna lodge themselves into my arteries. Bah!


Source: The Guardian

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