This Day in Death

8.6.12: Kavna, the Whale that Inspired “Baby Beluga” – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 10:17 am August 13, 2012

“So that’s how, in a way, I think we’re all whales.”


Hey! A whale just died! Not just any whale, though, because who gives a shit about some dumbass, run of the mill, plebeian sea mammal, right? No no no, *this* was a tangentially famous whale! Specifically, it was Kavna, the beluga whale that inspired the hit Raffi song “Baby Beluga”! And now she’s dead. Dead and gone, forever. It’s all part of my “Fuck Your Childhood” series of posts. This may or may not be representative of why people have stopped answering my phone calls.

“She had a profound impact on me,” [Raffi] told Canadian radio station News 1130. “[Kavna] came out of the water and placed a gentle, graceful kiss on my cheek and I couldn’t stop talking about it for a couple of weeks! That encounter inspired the song “Baby Beluga,” and as I like to say, the song set the whale free.”

Except for the part where she wasn’t set free at all. Sorry, but “Hurricane” couldn’t get Rubin Carter out of prison and that song was eight and a half minutes long with a badass gypsy fiddle in it. And a lot of swearing. I doubt that Michelle Tanner’s favorite lullaby is gonna raise the gate at the aquarium. That’s right, somebody’s finally taking Raffi down a couple pegs! Your soothing ballads extolling environmental responsibility have been allowed to thrive unchecked just long enough!

(P.S. Here’s a video of Raffi singing new lyrics to “Baby Beluga” urging people to vote in the 2011 Canadian election. I know a lot of people make fun of Canada, and say things like, “Oh, Canada sucks” or “Canada is just a culturally vacant expanse of milquetoast nobodies who will inevitably be crushed under China’s bootheel the second anyone remembers they even exist” or “I’d live in the impact crater left behind after a plane drops all of its solid human waste from the sky before I’d so much as look in the direction of that SARS-addled moose farm of a country,” but at least they don’t have P. Diddy and 50 Cent trying to scare their citizens into voting. Also, they have Wolverine. Point: Canada.)

Source: People

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