This Day in Death

8.13.12: “Cosmopolitan” Editor Helen Gurley Brown – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 5:17 pm August 15, 2012

Pictured: The 80s. All of them. Also, I could write a postgraduate dissertation on that Eddie Murphy blurb.


Author and “Cosmopolitan” editor Helen Gurley Brown has died at the age of 90. Brown edited the magazine for over 30 years and is largely regarded as a visionary who transformed the content of women’s magazines to allow frank discussions abouGODDAMMIT YOU SAID TAPER CUT JEANS WOULD BE A TIMELESS FASHION CHOICE. I’VE BEEN MAKING A JACKASS OUT OF MYSELF FOR YEARS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY JOB INTERVIEWS I’VE WHIFFED BECAUSE OF YOU?! I COULD’VE BEEN IN MIDDLE MANAGEMENT AT THE OFFICE DEPOT BY NOW, YOU SPITEFUL OLD GARGOYLE! GOD! She will be missed.

As Cosmopolitan’s editor from 1965 until 1997, Ms. Brown was widely credited with being the first to introduce frank discussions of sex into magazines for women. The look of women’s magazines today — a sea of voluptuous models and titillating cover lines — is due in no small part to her influence.

At 5 feet 4, she remained a wraithlike hundred pounds throughout her adult life. That weight, she often said, was five pounds above her ideal.

So there you go, women of America: Cosmo says you should feel confident and empowered, but you should probably pick up a subscription anyway because you’re still too fat and no one will ever *really* love you. Also, your co-workers are totally laughing at you when you’re not looking. Man, Sir-Mix-A-Lot would not be down with any of that. No, he wouldn’t be down with any of that at all.

I think the really important thing that I’ve personally learned here is that unmarried women *have* been having sex, which means a lot of girls just lost their “go to” excuse after I take them to the Olive Garden to split an endless pasta bowl. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me every Saturday night since I was 16, shame on me.

UPDATE: Sir-Mix-A-Lot stirs up a lot of emotion in people, and so, by special request, I have to include this.

Source: The New York Times

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