This Day in Death

02.25.12 – Some Zimbabwean Prostitute – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 1:58 am February 25, 2012

Three abandoned Photoshops and twenty minutes of image searching later and this was the only picture I could come up with that wasn’t either racist or incredibly depressing. So enjoy this view of Zimbabwe’s majestic Victoria Falls, where dreams are made!

 

Obviously, the best way to give this story the solemn dignity it demands is with a clumsy run-on sentence. What have you got for me, Zimbabwean news site that’s obviously not written by native English-speakers?

The woman [editor’s note: he means whore] had been hired overnight on Sunday evening, but decided to wash her clients clothes the following morning and as she was hanging the clothes on the laundry line, she was electrocuted, dying on the spot, said Lameck Chirwa, who stays in the neighbourhood where the incident occurred.

Mmmmm, that’s some spicy poor syntax! But hang on… can you clarify something for me…

The sex worker, Mati Nhamo, had reportedly spent the night at her clients place

She spent the night? Dude! Hasn’t this guy ever heard that you don’t pay a hooker for sex, you pay her to leave afterward? And this guy has the nerve to call himself a degenerate. *cracks air whip repeatedly*

Beyond that, Nhamo’s family is refusing to bury her until the client, Last Mbele (cool name, bro), first pays them a dowry. This guy signed up for a simple, carefree night of swimming in the kind of South African STDs that make Gonorrhea look like a stubbed toe and instead got boondoggled into a marriage. Zimbabwe: Teaching you that prostitution is wrong, but for totally different reasons than you thought.

Source: NewsDay

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