This Day in Death

6.22.15: Donald Featherstone, Creator of the Flamingo Lawn Ornament – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 4:53 pm July 3, 2015

DONALD_FEATHERSTONEAll I’m saying is that, if the gay mafia is so worried about reinforcing stereotypes, they’d do well to find a slightly less whimsical method of gangland reprisal.


Donald Featherstone, the creator of the pink plastic lawn flamingo, has died at the age of 79. If you’ve ever wondered about the origin of the well-known ornament, but only wanted to hear the story if it was completely boring and unremarkable in every way, then you and your weird adrenal gland are in luck:

“…They asked me to work on a duck, so I went to buy a real duck to study. I named him Charlie. When I had the plastic duck done, set him free in Cogshall Park. They then asked me to do a flamingo,” he said.

“You can’t go locally and buy a flamingo, so I got some books, and one that had some good shots was National Geographic. I made the silhouette, then put on the clay and that’s how it all got started.”

“Basically, I did my job.” Well, touché, interviewer who expected a lot more than that. To be fair, Featherstone eventually became president of Union Products, the company he made the decorations for. So let that be a lesson for all of us: Keep your nose down, do your job well, stop stealing syrup from the soda fountains at work, and someday you’ll definitely be managing that Sbarro’s and pulling in a rather tasty $37k annual salary. Then you steal the syrup.

For those outside of America’s majestic trailer park circuit (AAA refers to it as the “Meth Belt”), you may not be aware that the pink flamingo lawn ornament has become a symbol of distinction and class division. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this comparison, and while you’re at it, stop second-guessing me all the damn time, you bunch of Doubting Dorothys.



Pretty conclusive stuff, right? Well hang onto your acid wash cutoffs, because those’re actually the same trailer! That’s right: Just eight bucks’ worth of painted plastic is all it takes to let your neighbors know that, yeah, you might be getting approved for that payday loan after all.

Source: NPR

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