This Day in Death

7.26.13: ‘Captain Kangaroo’ Puppeteer Cosmo Allegretti – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 10:47 am August 9, 2013

COSMO_ALLEGRETTILet’s get one thing straight right now, Television; The day I’m gonna let a puppeteer in a kerchief entertain my children is the day I… well, the day I have children, for starters. Although that’s kinda unlikely. It’s just something about how they demand to be fed almost every single day, it really cuts into my free time. Alright, this threat kinda petered out, let’s just get on with the ha-has.


Hey, remember Captain Kangaroo? Alright, shut up, I can’t actually hear what you’re saying. The internet still doesn’t work like that and anyone who told you otherwise clearly does not respect your intelligence or capacity for critical thinking. No, that was just a transparent attempt at being conversational before I tell you about the death of Kangaroo puppeteer Cosmo Allegretti. That’s not a common first name, so take care not to confuse him with classic Seinfeld character Cosmo Kramer. To help you keep them straight, here’s a little mnemonic device: Cosmo Kramer was the one who entered rooms in hilarious fashion for 9 laugh-filled years, while Cosmo Allegretti was the one who wasn’t played by a crazy old racist.

[Allegretti] was a puppeteer for four years on “The Rootie Kazootie Show” before he started on “Captain Kangaroo.” He remained with the show until CBS canceled it in 1984 to free space for a news-oriented morning show.

Putting aside my disappointment that a compromise wasn’t reached involving a news and current events show hosted by puppets (The McLaughlin Group shouldn’t have to be the only one), it’s a good thing the cancellation took place before the internet was around to get all self-righteous about the death of something they didn’t even know was still around. Remember when the world collectively lost their shit during the 20 minutes when you couldn’t buy a Twinkie? Because my Facebook feed sure does. The poor thing is still recovering from the onslaught of self-righteous, hypoglycemic indignation. Before that had you even thought to eat a goddamn Twinkie in the last 15 years? What I’m getting at here is that you guys are really gonna miss this blog once I’ve been indicted for high crimes against the state and this URL just redirects to a video poker site. Frankly I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already. I’m definitely living on borrowed time as it is.

Source: NY Times

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