This Day in Death

12.28.12: Shiesty Comic Book Convention Promoter Rick Olney – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 7:34 pm January 4, 2013

RICK_OLNEYComic Book Podcaster Pro Tip: Discarded jizz socks make excellent windscreens!


If there’s one thing I know, and conservative estimates suggest there is, it’s that there is no danker corner of the pop culture dungeon than the comic book convention circuit. It’s mostly just Frank Miller calling people rapists in-between trying on fedoras and not doing anything decent for the past 25 years. That, and She-Hulks whom I have a sneaking suspicion are only wearing green makeup.

Despite already being a cellar of lies and body odor, controversial convention promoter Rick Olney made few friends in the industry. Olney was allegedly guilty of a litany of offenses, including copyright infringement, unpaid talent fees, and constantly having to leave to go to his second job as Larry the Cable Guy’s Delta Farce stunt double.

Oh, and he’s dead, by the way. If I didn’t mention that this post wouldn’t make a lot of sense, really. Journalism!

My own dealings with Olney were cordial, if bizarre, and his account of my attendance at one of his cons was not accurate in the least, but he didn’t rip me off the way he did others.

Seriously, this was the nicest first-hand account I could find. I tried to be fair here and that’s the best I could do. So there you go, epitaph makers of America: “Rick Olney: He Never Punched Me in the Balls or Nuthin’, So There’s That.”

Source: Comicsbeat

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8.12.12: Legendary Comic Book Artist Joe Kubert – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 11:02 am August 14, 2012

“For fuck’s sake, I’m not gonna draw anyone humping, what is wrong with you people?”


Legendary comic book artist Joe Kubert is dead today. Mourning has led America’s dweebs to declare a temporary ceasefire in their never-ending feud with the nerdlingers, an across the aisle gesture we haven’t seen since 1996, when both factions signed an accord declaring that Rob Liefeld should “suck a duffel bag full of dicks.” No love lost between those guys, is what I’m saying. Let’s just go to the block quote from those dinguses at SuperHero Hype.

Kubert began drawing comics at DC Comics way back in 1943, including an extended run on Hawkman during the Golden Age of comics that made him one of that character’s signature artists, as well as drawing some of the most influential war comics of the ’50s and ’60s most notably G.I. Combat, which featured Sgt. Rock (his other signature character), Enemy Ace and the Haunted Tank.

The Haunted Tank! And it’s not even like it’s a metaphoric tank or any kinda misleading bullshit like that. It’s an actual tank that’s haunted and goes around tanking the shit out of things that get in its way. If it hadn’t been created before I was born I would be certain someone just stole the sketchbook I kept when I was twelve. Thankfully nobody’s ripped off my other flagship character, “Machine-Gun Woman with Like a Hundred Boobs.” She’s one third machine gun, one third woman, and one third unrealistically depicted.



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5.11.12: “Jonah Hex” creator Tony DeZuniga – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 9:35 am May 14, 2012

“We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the sexy way.”


Hey, nerds: Comic book creator Tony DeZuniga died on Friday at the age of 71. I was gonna make a joke here, but I feel pretty bad about calling you guys nerds a second ago. It’s my fault. I just get so scared sometimes.

DeZuniga suffered complications following a stroke in April brought about by a bought of pneumonia.

He was best known for his work on Conan and as the co-creator of DC Comics characters Jonah Hex and Black Orchid.

The artist was the first Filipino to work for DC and Marvel Comics.

For those who don’t know, Jonah Hex is a bounty hunter who starred in a series of well-received stories based around hard-boiled western tropes. Before being turned into a time-traveler who fights space aliens. And then starring in a movie so shitty that Megan Fox was only about the fourth most wooden and embarrassing thing about it. Hex is currently benefiting from a minor creative rebirth, which will undoubtedly be followed by the inclusion of a back-talking teenage sidekick and relocated to early 90s Compton. Fresh!


Source: Digital Spy

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2.29.12: Comic Book Artist Sheldon Moldoff – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 5:51 am March 15, 2012

I can recite entire lines of dialogue from this story, yet have no idea who my congressman is. I’m gonna classify that as a wash.


Sheldon Moldoff died of kidney failure late last month but I didn’t hear about it until now because apparently 91-year-old comic book artists aren’t quite front page news right now. At least not ones who worked on Hawkman. Poor Hawkman.

Mr. Moldoff drew covers for the first appearances of the characters Flash and Green Lantern in 1940 and some of the earliest renderings of Hawkman. He also contributed to the first issue of Action Comics, in which Superman was introduced (though he did not draw the Man of Steel).

Moldoff is actually the last surviving artist who worked on said issue of Action Comics, which is pretty much considered the most important comic book ever printed and the origin of the superhero genre, establishing the template for 70-plus years of the medium and its influence on pop culture. So, if you were trying to discover the root of why I don’t have a girlfriend, that’s about as exact as you’re gonna get.


Source: The New York Times

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