This Day in Death

11.8.12: Oldest Living Baseball Hall of Famer Lee MacPhail – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 8:07 pm November 12, 2012

Well, it’s no commemorative 9/11 coin advertised on Comedy Central at 3 am, but it’s still a pretty classy gesture, I guess.


As you all know, I don’t do many sports posts around here. I decided in 1996 that it was in my best interest to stay away from that whole arena after I lost $15,000 betting against the TuneSquad in Space Jam. My bookie kept telling me, “It’s just a movie, not an actual sporting event. The ending is predetermined, and they’re not gonna let the team with Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan lose.” What can I say; I really thought the Monstars were hungrier.

But today former president of the American League and oldest living baseball Hall of Famer Lee MacPhail is dead. Is “oldest living Hall of Famer” really much of an honor? It’s like being the fattest astronaut. Anway, I won’t lie about this: I was pretty disinterested until I got to the following.

Despite his placid demeanor, Lee MacPhail was probably best remembered for being at the center of a baseball storm: the pine-tar dispute of July 1983. In a game between the Yankees and the Kansas City Royals at Yankee Stadium, an umpire disallowed a go-ahead home run by George Brett of the Royals with two outs in the ninth inning, ruling that Brett had too much pine tar on his bat.

“Too much pine tar on his bat” is the greatest euphemism for excessive masturbation that I’ve ever heard. After that the article really loses steam. I’ve always said that sports reporting needs to cater more to the mindset of prepubescent boys/pantsless bloggers and the fact that “excessive masturbation” is now logged into my search history just proves my point.


Source: The New York Times

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