Decades before Adam Sandler had begun just daring us to step into a movie theater, The Brady Bunch was flying the flag of offensively dull blended families all by itself. Yes sir, from stories about why you shouldn’t lie to stories about why you should always tell the truth, there was only one rule if you wanted to survive in the cutthroat world of the Brady Bunch writers’ room: “Pretty much all holds barred.”
Sunday marked the death of one of the show’s stars, Ann B. Davis, better know as the Brady’s live-in maid Alice, who maintained and cooked every goddamn thing despite Carol being a stay-at-home mom. Because when your husband is pulling in that sweet architect salary, why should you even bother trying to maintain something as sprawling and unruly as a two-story house? That shit is for poor people, go get yourself a deep-tissue massage.
“I made up a background story. I did have a twin sister, so I used that as a basis. … I cared very much about this family. It was my family. It was as close to my family as Alice would ever get. I would have died for any single one of them at any point,” she said. “You know, they wrote me such gorgeous things to do, as the intermediary between the kids and the adults, and between the boys and the girls. And they gave me funny things to do.”
Fun fact: During the first season, the theme song was preformed by a band called Peppermint Trolley Company. I’m not even making that up! Those guys came up with a name that sounds like something spray-painted on the side of a van that sells crystal meth to neighborhood children and decided to run with it because they were just that innocent. I swear, if the state ever allows me to have kids, I’m never raising them in the 70s.