This Day in Death

8.11.14: Robin Williams – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 7:12 pm August 14, 2014

ROBIN_WILLIAMSWilliams in his breakout role in Mork & Mindy, the show that put rainbow suspenders on the map. Yeah, the map of Dorksylvania! NERD SLAM!

 

 

Beloved actor and comedian Robin Williams was found dead in his home on Monday. Evidence suggests that his struggle with depression had driven him to commit suicide. It’s going to be to tough to make jokes about the tragic loss of such an esteemed figure without being offensive, but luckily I was born a lillywhite coward so I’m just gonna not even try. Hey, I’m just honoring my heritage. Either respect the beliefs of my yellow-bellied forefathers or you might find yourself the victim of a terse, anonymous comment on your YouTube channel some day.

But I guess we still need to find something to do around here… Hey, it looks like NJ.com was able to find the one Jersey resident whose hands weren’t completely slathered in bronzer and let him use the community Lenovo to gather a bunch of celebrity Tweets, so let’s just mock those instead. I appreciate the legwork, guys. Your greasy state is alright.

OH IS RICHARD LEWIS JEWISH? YOU’D THINK HE’D ALLUDE TO IT SOMEWHERE!

Frankly I’m flabbergasted. Maybe this was some kind of personal in-joke between him and Williams, but that wouldn’t explain the hundreds of retweets. I’m gonna assume we collectively didn’t wanna look anti-Semitic, so we just kinda wrote Lewis a blank check on this one and told ourselves this made some kind of sense. This is really more our bad than his.

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Those of you who are both longtime readers and don’t suffer from memory loss due to crippling Benzodiazapine addictions (which my click traffic Venn diagram tells me consists solely of one Gary Lepinksi of Cincinnati, Ohio. Way to keep your engine clean, Gar!) will note that this isn’t the first time Cher has blindly tripped over profundity following a respected celebrity’s death. Still, I almost kind of get what she thinks she’s saying this time. Do you have a follow-up Tweet that’s a bit more… Lennie Small-esque, we’ll say?

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Eh, I still kinda understand. When I read Cher’s Tweets I wanna be legitimately concerned that I may be having an aneurism. Deeper!!

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Theeere it is. Sorry, but Cher’s Twitter feed is an endless source of both amusement and shocking ineptitude for me. It’s like a fountain that only spouts schadenfreude. Truly, it give Great. But tread carefully! It can also, for those who don’t exercise caution, Take All.

Source: NJ.com and Twitter

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