This Day in Death

7.16.14: Johnny Winter – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 5:55 pm July 18, 2014

JOHNNY_WINTERWinter, seen here jamming with Jimi Hendrix. Notice how both look bored while being better at something in their 20s than you’ll ever be at anything for as long as you live? Hey, follow-up question: How’s that bakery you were gonna open coming along? Oh, putting it on the backburner for a while, huh? Well, that’s okay, too. Next year is definitely your year, I can just feel it.

Legendary albino blues guitarist Johnny Winter, brother of similarly-afflicted virtuoso Edgar Winter, was found dead in his hotel room on Wednesday. I’m gonna run down the subtext of that for you again, nice and slow-like, because I don’t think you really caught the weight of what I just wrote: Two albino brothers, with the unbelievably on-the-nose surname ‘Winter,’ both became brilliant musicians and rose to concurrent critical and commercial success in the 70s. I know it sounds like the most laser-focused after school special ever produced, but no, this actually happened in our really real world. Seriously, why do you people even need drugs when crazy shit like this is happening out there? It’s like I tell the troubled teens I speak to at local inner city middle schools: “Information is the real crack!”

His big break came while opening a show for Mike Bloomfield in 1968. Winter’s performance that evening caught the eye of Columbia Records, who quickly signed him to a contract. He was given a $600,000 advance, the largest one ever received at that time.

And after only one show! That just reaffirms my long-held theory that it’s only a matter of time until the Commissioner of Technology stumbles upon one of my ha-ha posts here and asks me to become the official comic laureate of the internet. I’ve already got some pretty solid light-hearted zingers cooked up about cat5 cables and such. Like, isn’t it crazy when people say, “LAN network”? The ‘n’ already stands for network, you idiot! You just said “local-area network network,” you unlovable cretin! It works better if you can see my face.

Source: Consequence of Sound

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