This Day in Death

7.23.12: Sally Ride, the First American Woman in Space – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 4:57 pm July 24, 2012

Ride, seen here hanging out with Oscar the Grouch’s girlfriend Grundgetta shortly before what must’ve been the freakiest threesome ever.


You know, ever since the beginning of this paragraph, I’ve wanted to be an astronaut. Unfortunately I failed the written exam, because apparently NASA is only interested in the kind of intellectual elitists who own bookshelves that aren’t just painted onto the wall. The kind of freaks who actually read the informational plaques at the zoo. Stop trying to show off, Einstein. I just came here to assert my dominance by throwing rocks at caged animals, not get my zoology master’s.

Sally Ride, the first American woman to fly in space, died on Monday at her home in San Diego. She was 61.

The cause was pancreatic cancer, her company, Sally Ride Science, announced on its Web site.

Dr. Ride, a physicist who was accepted into the space program in 1978 after she answered a newspaper ad for astronauts, flew on the shuttle Challenger on June 18, 1983, and on a second mission in 1984.

Hang on, what was that?

…after she answered a newspaper ad for astronauts…

1978 must have been a very VERY different time, because if I saw that ad today I would be 10,000% certain that it had something to do with covertly recruiting people to run a meth lab. I like that NASA in the 70s pretty much took the same approach to sending people into outer space that I used for selling my futon.

Anyway, it’s worth noting that Ride was not only the first American woman in space, but, at 32, also the youngest. She was not, however, the first woman in space. That honor goes to Valentina Tereshkova. Also, contrary to some misinformation floating around out there, she was not the first breakdancer in space. That was, of course, Carlos “Laser Legs” Lopez. That may seem trivial, but keep in mind: Space is fucking boring. In fact, some history books claim that Lopez’s anti-gravity pop and lock was the only thing that kept our brave men and women from dying of space ennui.


Source: New York Times

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