This Day in Death

6.3.13: New Jersey Senator Frank Launtenberg – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 3:18 pm June 5, 2013

 FRANK_LAUTENBERGIt’s posts like this that make me regret committing to this whole ‘funny caption’ thing. Seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do with this? I may as well have been looking up pictures of actual white bread.



Frank Launtenberg, senator from New Jersey (the only state where you can major in Body Odor), died on Monday of viral pneumonia. No word yet on what will happen to Launtenberg’s proposed “Alla Them Stukachs in Newark Should Get Beat the Fuck Down in a Fuckin Hurry” bill. I’m really not sure that was even within his jurisdiction, but the legislative process will sort it out, I guess.

Let’s see what those jamooks over at The New York Slimes have to say about this.

[Lautenberg] pushed through a provision to establish a national drinking age of 21, a measure that threatened to cut 10 percent of a state’s federal highway money if it did not comply. He argued that the change would save lives by ending “a crazy quilt of drinking ages in neighboring states” and prevent those under 21 from driving over “blood borders” to get drunk and then try to drive home.

And yet Lautenberg sat on his hands when it came to kids crossing borders to attempt the infamous Michigan Bottle Deposit Scam. Godammit, the Great Lakes State could be hemorrhaging untold dimes in revenue even as we speak! I should watch, like, a lot less tv.

 

Source: The New York Times

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