This Day in Death

5.9.12: Prince Harry, the Pygmy Hippo – ADORABLE! Also: DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 10:23 am May 17, 2012

Prince Harry with caretaker Toni Inggs, who should feel free to contact me if she’d like some romantic, candlelit tips in re: hippo mourning.

 

You know, I normally don’t feel too bad about running a blog that capitalizes on other people’s pain and suffering. The main reason is that a steady diet of Effexor and Small Wonder repeats has scraped off most of the remnants of human emotion that somehow managed to cling to the interior of my psyche. But today I hang my (handsome) head in shame to report that Prince Harry, the beloved pygmy hippo that managed to momentarily steal the internet’s attention away from pictures of cats who have a questionable grasp on grammar, has died. He experienced heart failure during surgery to correct a hernia. Even sadder, there are only about 3,000 of his species in existence, making him the ideal choice of pet for both wealthy eccentrics and college students who are desperate to assert their individuality. Because dogs are for conformos.

Alright, it has to be stated: Yes, that hippo broke new ground when it came to being adorable, and I would suckerpunch the Pope just to get him to lick my face with his cute little hippo tongue. But the fact remains that he’s not an actual prince, and that kind of malfeasance is a sore spot for me. Between this loveable asshole, Prince, and Queen Latifah I’ve given out way too many unnecessary curtsies. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson after taking medical advice from *both* Dr. Dre’s, but no. Seriously, what were the odds that *neither* of them were actually doctors?



Source: Mail Online

Share
Tags: , , , ,