This Day in Death

4.4.12: Wife Buried in Husband’s Front Yard – STILL DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 8:23 am April 5, 2012

Fun Fact: Helen Keller was from Alabama, although she left at around age six and never returned. So, yes, even a blind and deaf six-year-old knows better than to stay in Alabama.


It’s been a slow week for death. More specifically, it’s a slow week for the kind of death that lends itself to pop culture references and dick jokes. I mean, the guy from “Forbidden Planet” died, but that didn’t register very strong with me because I’m not a thousand years old. Hey old people: If you wanna get my attention try dying younger. Duh. There’s also this story about a dude who got hacked into pieces in his own home, but that’s the kind of morbid shit that’s really hard to write about when you’re just trying to work through a stockpile of “Alf” jokes. So let’s go with something else: A story about a guy who’s got the government of Alabama putting the screws to him to remove the corpse of his wife from his front lawn. I’m pretty sure Skynyrd wrote a whole concept album about that. It was awful.

Jim Davis, who appears to be neither goth nor the creator of the popular comic strip Garfield,

Well, fuck. I guess I just wasted a solid ten minutes on this Photoshop. It’s probably just as well, since nobody needs to see Odie doing that with a human femur. Moving on…

…buried his wife, Patsy, in his yard one month after her death in April of 2009, nine days after city council denied his request to do so.

Her tombstone inscription reads “Grand Old Lady.”

While his county’s Health Department approved the establishment of a private cemetery on Davis’ property from a sanitary standpoint, the city argues that the grave will lower property values in his neighborhood.

Davis counters that his neighbors’ homes are “falling apart,” their yards “littered with junk.” How much of a difference could one or two little bitty corpses make?

Fair point, but honestly… what the hell are you trying to do? Buried people aren’t seeds, you’re not gonna sprout a Woman Tree on your lawn. Magistrate Judge Robinson made that point extremely salient to me.

For his part, Davis argues that it’s his right as an American to bury his wife on his property.

“This is my piece of the United States. I don’t own [any] more of this world, just this. As long as I own this she’s here.”

What a hassle. Of course, the obvious way to avoid these kinds of problems is by not getting married and simply willing away the ability to love another human being. Once again, it looks like disturbed, unloved loners were ahead of the curve. I’ll definitely be bringing this up at our next meeting.


Source: Gawker

Tags: , ,