This Day in Death

2.1.13: Former New York Mayor Ed Koch – DEAD!

Filed under: Dead —James @ 7:40 am February 4, 2013

ED_KOCHDid you know you can purchase your own grave before you die? It all but negates the need to fake your own death to secure a good spot, making my recent actions look kinda foolish. I should really call my mom and bring her up to speed about the whole thing one of these days.


Alright, well, Ed Koch is dead, but I’m gonna turn this over to the Times. So let’s all grit our teeth and try not to roll our eyes while they turn this into an insufferable stroke-job for New York.

Edward I. Koch, the master showman of City Hall, who parlayed shrewd political instincts and plenty of chutzpah into three tumultuous terms as mayor of New York with all the tenacity, zest and combativeness that personified his city of golden dreams, died Friday morning at age 88.

Liiiiittle more, please…

But out among the people or facing a news media circus in the Blue Room at City Hall, he was a feisty, slippery egoist who could not be pinned down by questioners and who could outtalk anybody in the authentic voice of New York: as opinionated as a Flatbush cabby, as loud as the scrums on 42nd Street, as pugnacious as a West Side reform Democrat mother.

Mmmmm yeah, that’s the stuff. New York City: Where even the obituaries are relentlessly self-important. I hear reporters at the Times are paid in airtight jars of their own farts.

Anyway, at several points in his career, Koch’s political opponents attempted to damage his reputation by spreading speculation that he might be gay, because apparently that’s a thing that matters somehow. I’m not really sure how that’s even a smear campaign, gay people probably make solid political leaders. They have such a great sense of community, always rehabbing shitty studio apartments and walking around holding hands with each other to make sure nobody gets lost. I guess that just means homosexuals tend to have a poor sense of direction, but that’s hardly a reason to keep them out of office. They’re not mayoring the Appalachian Trail, motherfuckers, vote ’em in.

Source: The New York Times

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